2009-09-06

Bad Words

There are certain words that we don't want our boys to say, words beyond the common four letter words. Sure the R-rated words we try not to utter in their presence, mostly we don't, but those honestly aren't the words we are most concerned about.


{Tommy has been known to run for the ringing phone muttering "sh*t sh*t sh*t" apparently that's what Mommy used to do when the phone rang....oops....we've mostly fixed that problem, at least Tommy doesn't do it anymore.}

My MIL today, while watching a silly video with the boys called someone a "dummy" {someone on the video not one of us of course}. This elicited an immediate response from DH - reminding her that that is a bad word. That is what got me thinking...

It is very important to my hubby and I that our boys learn that words like "dummy", "stupid" and "shut up" are not acceptable to us, not in our house, not from our boys. Neither are any words that are used for the sole purpose to hurt, insult or disrespect. There is nothing beneficial to these words at all. It is very important to us that they learn, from a young age, that you speak to others and treat others with respect and kindness. As unpopular as this philosophy seems to be these days {especially among some of the kids in my neighborhood}!

I had a discussion with someone (a friend of a friend I think) a word that I despise came up. She said it "was only a word" and it only means as much as you put behind it, and that if I didn't give it so much weight it wouldn't mean anything. I disagree - words can hurt, words can be damaging, words are more than words - especially when spewed with disregard or bad intention. {think of cyber bullying - nothing but words causing so much hurt}

I think back on my high school days, on the words that were so callously spoken at me - the words that, despite the fact they were "only words", stung me. Worse yet I think of the words that I said, the awful things I uttered in my youth. Words that can never be taken back, words that I know damaged others.

So my boys will learn as they grow up there is a list of words they should not say. More than a list, they will learn that words can hurt and should be handled with care. They will learn that this is something that Mommy and Daddy do not take lightly, and they will learn that it is a rule that even Mommy and Daddy work to follow every day. They will learn that some days it is hard to say nice things and sometimes the people that make us want to say the meanest things are probably the ones who need to hear the nicest.

{and yes occasionally they will learn that "sh*t" is mommy's go to word - even though it probably shouldn't be}

This is a very serious rule in my house {while coloring on the walls with chalk in the other hand is hardly an offense these days}.

What about your family?
Are there any hard and fast rules in your house, that may not be the typical "don't hit your little brother"?
Are there any words you don't allow or discourage?
I would love to hear your take.

7 comments:

  1. Good for you! Teach them now - I think that's the best plan. The two words I don't let my kids say to me at school are "sucks" (as in, "Your lesson SUCKS Mrs. Stoker!") or "bored". I can't stand when kids say they're bored. I tell that to my nephews too and they know now not to say it around Auntie Heather. heehee

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  2. Oh, we are dealing with this, too. The word we have banned is "hate", as in "I hate to go to bed, I hate lunch", etc. I'm bummed that this word showed up in two different books we have!

    And I love that you have a "go-to" cuss word!! Me too!

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  3. Well, obviously, my boys are all grown now. However, we had rules about the same words as you. We also didn't allow "suck".

    Regarding the s word you are concerned about. I have to confess, I used to say that word, many years ago. We weren't going to church back then, and our oldest boy had just been born. It was the hardest word for me to stop, but I did. I started saying "sugar"! Now, I say, "snap", much to the dismay of my boys! LOL

    This is a great post, Liz. You are a very wise mommy!

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  4. I think it's great that you guys are doing it. We are also trying to not use bad words in our house, and I do admit that they slip out sometimes. I work in advertising and there is a lot, and I mean a lot of swearing going on and it's so easy to pick it up. I do however try not to join them, for my children sake.

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  5. Here you go sugar!! HEAVEN IN YOUR MOUTH i promise!! :)

    Paula Deen's Tomatoe Pie

    4 tomatoes, peeled and sliced
    10 fresh basil leaves, chopped
    1/2 cup chopped green onion
    1 (9-inch) prebaked deep dish pie shell
    1 cup grated mozzarella
    1 cup grated cheddar
    1 cup mayonnaise
    Salt and pepper

    Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.

    Place the tomatoes in a colander in the sink in 1 layer. Sprinkle with salt and allow to drain for 10 minutes.

    Layer the tomato slices, basil, and onion in pie shell. Season with salt and pepper. Combine the grated cheeses and mayonnaise together. Spread mixture on top of the tomatoes and bake for 30 minutes or until lightly browned.

    To serve, cut into slices and serve warm.

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  6. I totally agree with everything you said! I am trying so hard to keep negative words (and swear words) out of our household.

    Is it normal to have a rule of "don't climb on the dog"? Because we have that one. Delia or dog will get removed from the room. heh.

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  7. We have words in our house that we dont want spoken either, idiot, moron, stupid...and my boys are 3 and 2...too much Spongebob...that has been taken away!
    It's a struggle...I use bad words too, and I often find myself getting disciplined by my boys! Hey, at least they are kinds grasping onto it!!

    ReplyDelete

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