1.) Dear Mommy and/or Daddy…
I am writing you tonight to officially address some issues that have come to light lately.
First I must start off by saying that you are a great Mommy. I know you try really hard, and do the best you can, with that said...
Item #1 Bedtime:
I have told you time and time again. I do not want to go to bed. I want to stay in your bed all night and watch movies with you. I am not sure why you can't understand that. I think this is something that we can work on together. I have no doubt that after a night or two you will see things my way
Item #2 Dinner:
Is it really so difficult to serve macoroni and cheese or tuna at every meal? I mean maybe a chocolate chip pancake or two on occasion, perhaps some Hershey's bars. But really what is it with all these veggies - carrots are ok when I'm in the mood, but tomatoes, broccoli and spinach?! Seriously?! You want me to eat those things!!! And I don't care how good you say it tastes - I am NOT trying those little sushi rolls you and Daddy enjoy!!
Item #3 Interior Decorating
I don't like the curtains - that is why I keep pulling and climbing on them! And the walls - really they are so bare. So please stop yelling at us and wiping up the art that Jack and I so lovingly created on them. I get that marker is hard to clean off the wall....so stop cleaning it off the wall!!!
Item #4 Outings
I really don't think it is too much to ask for you to take us on a fun outing EVERY SINGLE DAY. This is our house, these are our toys, I am tired of them. If you need me to I can make a list of the 7 or 8 places that you should take us to on a much more regular basis. Maybe you are just out of ideas. Let me know what I can do to help you overcome this problem.
I guess I can leave it at that for now. There are still some minor details we need to work on (like haircuts and clothes wearing) but I will save that for another day. (lately you seem overwhelmed as it is.)
Your Oldest Dear Son
(aka. The One Who is Always Right)
2.) This one time I was sleeping and…
Well there was this one night i was sound asleep....
wait....I am a pregnant mommy
I never get to fall sound asleep
excluding at 2 in the afternoon
when I can't keep my head up anymore
and pass out on the couch, often sitting upright
while the children decide to give each other make overs
after hauling my oversized, hardly used make-up bag from under the vanity.....
let me try this again...
This one time I was sleeping....it was at least 4 years ago :)