2010-10-15

On Support From Family

So this is something that comes up frequently when I talk with some of my other friends, and it seems like we are all in different places here.

My little family is blessed, my kids have 5 grandparents and no cousins, which means they are the object of much affection and attention. There have been times I have had to turn down grandparent requests to watch my dear boys simply because I wanted to spend the weekend with them. {although in my current state of fatty pregnancy I don't turn down those offers anymore!!}

My father (Papa) takes the boys 1-2 times a week.  If you follow me on Twitter - you know that in addition to his scheduled days, he has been known to stop by and just grab a kid or two, so that he has someone to go fly kites with!! (really he is just a big kid) When he is sick or on vacation we all feel it!!

So I know I am spoiled, but I will admit, as much as I "knew" I would have plenty of support I don't know that I ever expected it to the extent that we have it.  {hell, we live with my MIL right now, how much more support can we ask for?!}.

When we got pregnant for the first (and second) time we didn't really talk about who would take our kids on the weekend, it was never a discussion of what was expected of the grandparents.  We were willing to let them take their rolls as they felt comfortable and help out when they could.

We got lucky - we have grandparents that want to be part of every bit of our kids lives.  They go to soccer games, take them to dinner (even I don't take them out to eat!!), pick them up from school, and plan little day trips with them.  They are very much a part of their daily lives!!

But after conversations with some friends, and reading some comments on twitter and on blogs, I can't help but wonder, what its like for you...

What part do your parents and/or extended families take in your kids lives?
Are they active participants or more like by-standers?
Are they doing what you expected of them?
Did you or do you expect anything from them at all?

7 comments:

  1. I could (and have been thinking about) writing a whole blog post in response!

    Growing up I was very much like your boys. My grandparents were very active in our lives and I saw them several times a week.

    My situation is not anything like that.

    My parents only want to help on their terms, usually meaning grand adventures that are not age appropriate for my kids. They don't respond well to my kids needs or our parenting beliefs. My mother in law would help more but lives far away.

    It makes me sad, actually.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Like Melissa, my mom in law lives 2 hrs away but still took our boys for a week each summer and would have done much more had we lived closer.
    My mother (living 1.5 miles away) would only watch our boys if paid. She never involved herself in their lives.
    Like Melissa, it makes me sad too but it really has been her loss.

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  3. Hello there,

    I have a inquiry for the webmaster/admin here at lovingmom2boys.blogspot.com.

    Can I use part of the information from this post above if I give a backlink back to this site?

    Thanks,
    Peter

    ReplyDelete
  4. We live over 3 hrs from my dad. My mom died before I met my DH. However dad had remarried by the time I had kids. When they Gpa and Gma) would visit us they interacted, but because they didn't see the girls that often (and gma was frail) we never let them be with the girls by themselves. Gma died several yrs ago and after a period of time Gpa remarried again. We have had no real contact since that wedding. It's very sad... as my girls are missing out on 1/2 of the grandparenting experience AND my dad is missing out on knowing how great his granddaugthers are turning out.

    My DH's parents live about an hour away. We used to go see them (or they'd come here) almost every weekend. The girls would have sleepovers and such. No real picking up and such as still they live over an hour away... but they KNOW their granddaughters. In the past couple of years (pre-teen & now teen years) we don't see them as often... as our lives are extremely busy and they hardly ever come to visit - we always have to go to them. BUT... last year there was a full day volunteer opportunity for May and DH's dad volunteered to be one of he chaperones on this school field trip. I was amazed, happy and excited for them both. Great bonding time (so important with teens, ya know).

    Our situation is very different because of distance... and it saddens me that the relationships between both sets of grand parents is so different. But I LOVE hearing about how others... you all included... seem to have such a great experience with the grands.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Both my parents live in another country (2 hours' plane ride away, so not that far). My husband's family is in a different continent altogether! My parents do come and visit, but only stay a week or two at most, because my dad's semi-retired. Our kids get really spoiled by my parents as they are the only grandchildren. We only get to see my MIL once a year... I would dearly love it if my parents live closer or at least could stay longer each visit. Grandparents and their children have such a special bond. I love seeing my kids with my parents and seeing how my parents are around them. :)

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  6. You are very blessed. My parents are around to help when I ask...but I try not to ask too often. Although, this fall they have helped out every Saturday. Which has been so nice.

    ReplyDelete
  7. We're pretty fortunate too. My parents live five minutes down the road and take an active role in my children's lives. My dad is a huge help and tremendously close to the boys. My in-laws not as much, but they live further away. Do I wish I had more help? Always. But I definitely consider myself blessed.

    ReplyDelete

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