Sunday I ran my first half marathon, first of many is my intent.
And if I am to be perfectly honest with you, it was hell.
As it is I have a love hate relationship with running - maybe I haven't yet embraced my inner runner, or haven't learned how control the voice in my head that repeats over and over again "this sucks".
Maybe it was all the anticipation, a monumental build up in my head, that the 1st mile cured me of. I realized that this would be one of those runs, one that would make me wonder why I do it, but I also decided that I wouldn't let it defeat me. I refocused, took the opportunity to enjoy the beautiful area around me as I ran.
Taken as I was walking to the start.
And then - after the killer hill on mile 4, as I was finding my stride, it happened.
As I descended on a long and steady slope at mile 5 starting to really feel good I did something to my knee....at mile 5 out of 13.1.
Running is this funny thing, for months you train, you work your body for hours on end, logging the miles, so that one day you can push yourself for 2 hours (give or take a few). The problem is (as with any other sport I'm sure) no matter how trained you are, no matter how prepared you feel, injury can strike and stop you in your tracks.
Its physically taxing, trying to finish what you've started, trying to work through the pain, but worse than the physical is the emotional toll it takes. When you find yourself trying to work through 8 miles, as beautiful as the secluded path is, its also so lonely, no running playlist can defeat that.
Scenarios play through your head, the conversation at work the next day when friends and coworkers ask how you did. You fight against feeling humiliated as the majority of the runners pass you. It just sucks.
For 8 miles, I fought, walking several minutes every mile, trying to keep going forward. But I did it. And in the final few miles I took what little I had left and ran, and crossed the finish line as I planned, running, with my husband at the finish line cheering me on.
I'll spare you the details of the post race tears, and obligatory talk with the (very very kind) paramedics at the end of the race (I can't thank them enough for the ice).
Kameron and I after the race
(I'm so sad that we didn't get a good shot of the post race shirts I made for us.)
And now I have my PR for a half marathon (2:31:40, 11:35 min/mile), and my first real running injury (IT Band injury - thankfully nothing too serious!!)
Obligatory post run sneaker shot.
I will run again, at times I question whether or not this thick short girl is meant to run this far, but I'll ignore that question and do my best to just keep going.
Joining Angie at Seven Clown Circus for Wordful Wednesday this week, because Lord knows I can't be wordless!!